


Walking in a Winter Wonder-Drag

by bookworm1805



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Drag Queens, M/M, awkward!jared, jensen in drag, liberal abuse of the song 'my pony'
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-05
Updated: 2013-05-05
Packaged: 2017-12-10 12:46:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,889
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/786197
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bookworm1805/pseuds/bookworm1805
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Welcome all ladies, gentlemen, and everyone in-between, to UCLA’s third annual Student Drag Show!"</p>
            </blockquote>





	Walking in a Winter Wonder-Drag

**Author's Note:**

> dedicated to my dear friend justine

It’s Pride Week at the University of California Los Angeles and Jared is fucking excited.

He’s a freshman so it’s his first year away from home, but more importantly it's his first year away from Texas. He’d like to say he wasn't initially taken aback when he walked by the central plaza last week and found a table donned with a brightly colored banner declaring “QUEER STUDENT UNION” and a group of students cheerfully handing out pamphlets advertising the university’s upcoming Pride Week, but that would be a lie.

Growing up in traditionally conservative Texas wasn't exactly easy for a teenage gay kid. His parents were good about it, supportive from the very first time he brought home a guy instead of a girl, and he knows he’s lucky in that regard. A lot of people have it worse every day, and while his high school wasn't overtly welcoming of gay kids it wasn't homophobic either. They had a GSA, which Jared was proudly Vice President of, but he was one of only five members and not exactly popular in any other crowd than his “fellow homos” as Chad would say. Their funding sucked and the only significant thing they ever did was host a bake sale where they sold cupcakes with pink frosting and rainbow sprinkles which, while delicious, didn't exactly do much to usher in gay equality.

So to wake up Monday morning and see this, see little rainbow flags lining every planter box and lawn area on campus makes his heart stop, then soar. He doesn't have to hide here. If he’d gone to state school in Texas like his parents had wanted who knows if they would've had a Pride Week at all, much less one so largely celebrated and welcomed by the student population.

It makes him confident he made the right choice in coming here.

It’s Monday night, and according to the slip of paper in his hands it’s the night of the Student-Run Drag Show. Jared’s never been to a drag show before, honestly he wasn't even sure what one was – then he googled it and found a link to RuPaul’s Drag Race and got wrapped up in that for a few hours, but that’s another story – but now he’s decided he wants to go. He wants to expose himself to this new culture as much as he can, maybe join the Queer Student Union himself. So that’s where he is now, plunked down in a wooden-backed chair in the University Center, third row back on the aisle, ten minutes to 8 o’clock and counting.

His roommate Misha is sitting next to him, dressed in a slinky purple cocktail dress, black mesh gloves and red pumps. Jared had asked him why he wasn't just in the show himself, to which Misha replied, “The world isn't ready for this yet. But when they are, I’ll be waiting.” It was vaguely ominous and entirely unsettling, but Jared thought it was probably true. Misha’s not like anyone he’s ever known, not in Texas and not even among the other friends he’s made here. He couldn't tell at first if Misha was perpetually stoned or genuinely insane, but over the months he’s learned that no substance (or possible psychosis) could conjure up the shit his roommate says. That’s just 100% Misha.

Jared's really fucking fond of the guy, to be honest, even if the first words he said to him were “So, do you wanna make out?” Jared had spluttered and stared for a while before saying it’d probably be best they didn't if they wanted to live together harmoniously. Misha then grinned and commended Jared on his forethought, and it wasn't until fifteen minutes later – in the middle of an elaborate story of how Misha once staged a drag wedding in a grocery store – that he even introduced himself.

So yeah, Misha’s something else. But Jared couldn't ask for a better roommate, and he turns to him now to make idle conversation because it seems like the show’s going to be starting a little late.

True enough it’s not until almost 9 o’clock that someone comes on stage, dressed in a pink sequined dress and a long dark wig, who introduces herself as Miss Michaela. Her dress is busty, her makeup is bright and glittery and her smile is so wide she looks almost unhinged. “They say Gay Time is two times later than Straight Time, which is true, you know, so then you have to take into account Drag Time…well then that’s three times as late as Gay Time and five times as late as Straight Time – or wait, is it? Shit, I forgot my fractions.” The audience laughs and Miss Michaela shakes off her train of thought.

“Whatever, we’re late and we’re sorry, but the dressing room is just a fucking tornado of drag right now but I promise, just give us five more minutes and we’ll have someone up here, okay?” The audience laughs and claps, and there are several cat-calls of how fierce Miss Michaela looks. She laughs, “Is that you, Tommy?” There’s an answering holler form the back of the room and half of the crowd seems to know Miss Michaela and Tommy as they cheer in acknowledgment.

“Ignore him, he’s just my sleazy boyfriend,” Miss Michaela says with a grin spread across her bright pink lips. Tommy makes a loud wounded sound in the back, and Jared chuckles. “So, for how many of you is this your first drag show?”

Tentative hands raise, including Jared’s, and Miss Michaela bids them all welcome. Then she asks who are returnees and half the crowd goes wild. It seems to be evenly split between newbies and veterans, so Jared doesn't feel quite so clueless anymore.

There are some murmurs from backstage and Miss Michaela turns from the microphone to talk to someone. She turns back with another manic grin. “Alright, I think we’re ready! So welcome all ladies, gentlemen, and everyone in-between, to UCLA’s third annual Student Drag Show!”

*

It’s about thirty minutes into the show and Jared is having a phenomenal time. He’s got a little tiny rainbow flag in his hand that people were handing out at the door and he waves it enthusiastically as “Titanium Titties” picks up her discarded jacket and walks offstage. The dancers so far have been fierce and funny and just plain awesome, and he and Misha have gathered their resources and tucked a few dollar bills into the waistbands of some choice skirts to show their appreciation. Jared’s got a fiver in his hand that he’s saving though. He's not sure what for yet, but he’ll know when he sees it.

“Alright alright everyone, simmer down. Keep your panties on,” Miss Michaela says, now dressed in a long colorful kimono and a short blond wig. The audience whoops and jeers, and she bites her lip faux-coyly and leers out at the crowd. “Or not, oooooo, you all are feisty tonight!” Cue more laughing and cheering, and Jared’s honestly never felt quite so free and openly happy in maybe his whole life. He laughs right along with the crowd and gives a loud cat-call. “Well, you’re definitely gonna want them off for this next number. Except you Tommy, you keep your panties on and your dick inside them, do you hear me you bastard?" Tommy shouts something from the back. "It’s her first time in a show everyone, so let’s show her some love! This is not one you’re going to forget, I promise you. Give it up for…Jenny Thunder!”

Jared claps with the rest of the crowd sets his flag on the floor by his feet. Music starts to play out of the speakers, a heavy base line with screeching guitars overlaying a very familiar tune. Jared recognizes it in about two seconds because seriously, who wouldn't?

Someone’s dancing to “My Pony”. Motherfucking “My Pony” of all things. It’s not the original version, some amped up rock cover it sounds like. And then, just as the rhythm is really getting going, Jenny Thunder walks out onto the stage and Jared’s brain short-circuits.

Holy.

Fucking.

Shit.

This is it. This is the thing Jared was waiting for, this beautiful creature before him. She’s wearing a black bustier, filled up with ample breasts that Jared knows theoretically are false but fuck, they look real, and he spares a moment of admiration for all the time these guys must spend in wardrobe and makeup. The stage lights reflect off her black lycra tights, so tightly fitted along her legs that every muscle is well defined and bulging. A thick band of lace is cut out of the side of each leg. Strong thighs curve outwards into bowlegged knees and muscled calves. Black heels adorned with matching lace fit on her feet, and Jared scans up her body once more. There’s a tiny purple tutu resting on her hips but it does little to nothing for actually covering anything. He can see—

Shit, he can see nothing. Her groin area is completely flat. And the material is skin tight, he’d be able to see the slightest bump – but he must be taped down real good, tucked and everything. It sounds uncomfortable but the results…

Jared shifts in his chair and tries to will his, er, enthusiastic response to go down. He didn't cop a feel during any of the other performances, but right off the bat Jenny Thunder sets a fire in his veins. She struts up the stage slowly to the beat, hips swinging to and fro. She stops at the edge, cocks her hips out to the left and grinds down on the air, hands twisting up in her soft looking blond wig. Her hips roll rhythmically and she tosses her head back, eyes closed. Jared swallows. She performs a few basic pop-lock-and-grind moves, still standing in one place with her eyes closed.

The words start, “I’m just a bachelor, looking for a partner,” and her eyes snap open. They’re huge, shining in the stagelights and they lock onto Jared’s like a homing beacon. Jenny blinks and her hips stutter for beat before resuming their slow grind. Jared feels his neck breaking out into a cold sweat. Suddenly the room feels like a sauna. Misha side-eyes him from the corner of his vision as Jared crosses his legs. The audience is eating up everything Jenny throws at them, but it’s like Jared’s got wax in his ears. Everything is muffled, sound, vision, touch. Everything is centered on the person dancing center stage, still staring right at him.

Jenny picks up her heels and struts down the stairs of the stage, approaching the audience with a distinctly predatory aura, and is Jared crazy or is she still looking at him?

Must not be, because when she gets to the audience she goes to a girl in the first row, trails a hand down the girl’s arm and rolls her lycra-clad hips with a coy smile on her face. The girl reaches up to play with Jenny’s hair, then tucks a dollar bill into the waistband of her skirt. The dancer gives her admirer one last wink before walking into the aisle and swinging her arms around as she jerks her hips, then slides her hands down her legs until she touches the floor. The audience hollers even louder now, and Jared is seriously starting to think this show got distinctly more NC-17 in the past forty seconds.

Jenny shakes her ass as she rolls up, shimmies and grins real wide. Then she turns to Jared, and the grin turns into a smirk, one cherry red end of her mouth curled up higher than the other. She walks at him with purpose to the words “If you’re horny,” and Jared doesn't even want to think about this fucking song right now. She gazes at him from under thick, long lashes – are those even fake? – before she grabs the back of his chair and tugs it.

Jared’s not breathing. He’s pretty sure he is literally and completely incapable of inhaling oxygen. He can’t move a single fiber of his being because if he does his dick is going to explode, in front of fucking Jenny Thunder and Misha and God, he might be having a minor panic attack but it’s not his fault honestly it’s just—

“Relax, tiger,” Jenny purrs in a low husk. Jared’s dick twitches. He uncrosses his legs totally unsubtly, and sure enough, Jenny flicks a look down at his groin and her smile grows. She throws a leg over his chair, now pulled slightly into the aisle, and sits herself on his lap as the words “My saddle’s waiting, come and jump on it” blare through the room and it takes all of Jared’s already weak self-control not to buck up into the dancer as she grinds into him.

Her – his? – eyes are green, Jared notes. Vividly, ethereally green. He thinks they must be colored contacts because that color doesn't appear in nature, but he sort of hopes not because fuck. Jenny seriously makes one beautiful woman. He bets she’s just as beautiful as a guy too. God, but Jared shouldn't even be having these thoughts right now, not when he’s got a drag queen humping his lap at a public fucking university function.

“Ride it,” Jenny sings along into his ear as she continues her onslaught and runs her hands up his chest, fingers catching on the buttons of his plaid shirt. She grabs one of his hands, currently clutching the underside of his chair, and guides it to her thigh. She drags his hand up and down her leg and Jared can’t help grazing along the lace then digging his fingers into the hard muscle. She gives a satisfied grind against him, releases a tiny sigh, and presses his hand to her more urgently. He follows her lead as she guides it to the front of her crotch, perfectly flat. It’s hardly covered at all by her tiny purple tutu, and Jared’s heart stutters in his chest as his fingers lightly skim the silky smooth flat expanse. He hopes he's not about to get slapped for public groping.

“Fuck,” he breathes in a broken voice, still staring at the obvious place where a dick should be but isn't. Jenny chuckles above him, and he looks back at her. She’s still smiling, but he thinks she looks sort of embarrassed too. There’s a natural blush on her cheeks, and her gaze looks more shy than playful now. He’s pretty sure lap dances were not on the program for tonight, but she’s here anyway and he’s gonna do something about it. “Wait,” Jared grunts. He still has that five dollar bill clutched in his other hand, and he uncurls his fist so show it to her. She waggles her eyebrows at him, rolls her shoulders and shimmies at him.

Jared stares transfixed for a moment before he remembers himself and reaches up to tuck the note into her tutu. But she shakes her head as he moves to peel the waistband of her skirt from her skin and pats just above her breasts. Jared swallows. Jenny must know he’s hard right now, there’s literally no feasible way she can’t feel it, but still as his dick gives another interested twitch he can’t help blushing an even deeper shade of red. His hands quake as he carefully slips the bill into the front of her corset, far enough in so it will stay put but with enough hanging out that she can show it off. Jenny grins her thanks, brings her face so close to his that he’s sure she’s going to kiss him, but in the end she just licks her lips as she stares into his eyes and gives him one last slow, agonizing roll into his aching dick. Her lips are full, so plump they must look obscene on him naturally as a guy, and Jared licks his lips and jerks up a little in a helpless reflex. The action gets him another breathy almost-moan from her before she swiftly dismounts.

Fuck, did he really just think the word dismount right now?

This fucking song.

By now the song is into its second verse, Jenny having stayed and danced on his lap for the entire chorus, and she struts back into the aisle to please her other audience members. Jared tries not to feel too jealous when she dances in front of another guy, an attractive hipster with big glasses and a colored streak in his hair. She swivels her hips at his eye-level, winds her hands through her wing and tosses her head back, but she doesn't sit on him the way she did with Jared. He feels an involuntary curl of satisfaction in his gut.

She walks back to the stage now, ass shaking and bouncing perkily below her barely-there tutu as she walks up the stairs, and she leaves her back to the audience for a few beats to grind her ass in the air and swing her hips from side to side, hands gliding sensually over her body all the while.

Did Jared mention he has the most awkward, diamond-hard boner right now? Because he does.

“Juices flowing down your thigh...” and now Jenny turns her head over her shoulder playfully, smacks her own ass with both hands and clutches it before sliding her hands down her widespread thighs as she bends over to lay her palms flat on the floor. She jerks back up and gives her hips another purposeful pop towards the audience, her bottom lip swollen and caught between her teeth. God, Jared’s so fucking turned on he must be delusional because he could swear she’s looking at him.

She works it on stage, twists around to face the audience while she rolls her hips in concentric little circles. She mouths the lyrics, shiny red lips curling around the words “ride it, my pony”. Misha claps and laughs next to him, and Jared eyes his roommate for signs that he too likes Jenny just a little too much. His enjoyment seems to be harmless and genuine though. No terrible awkward boners for Misha, and Jared feels a mixture and relief and embarrassment.

Just him then?

Awesome.

The little purple tutu shakes while Jenny twists around, jutting out straight from her hips and doing so little to actually cover her ass or pelvic area that half the people in the crowd – namely the horny little pervs named Jared Padalecki– must be wondering why the hell she’s wearing it anyway. Jenny seems to think that too, because now she fluffs the skirt up and tosses it around before gripping the edges and sliding it just over the jut of her hips. The cheering of the audience gets louder, cat-calls and whistling filling the air.

She grins wickedly, wiggles the skirt inch by inch down the rest of her body. She steps out of it and swings it over her head a few times. It serves as a prop for the next few lines of music as she writhes onstage and traces the skirt of the tutu over the lines of her body. She slides it between her thighs, holds one end in front of her and the other behind and slowly see-saw tugs on each end, sensually rubbing the skirt between her bowed legs. The audience damn near explodes, and Jared feels faint.

He looks down at his hands, finds them in fists clenched so tightly it hurts. There are four deep half-moon imprints on each palm from his fingernails, and his hands are shaking. He chokes in more air, feels like he’s drowning in heat and arousal. The air in the student center has turned thick and heady. His shirt is damp against his back and he wishes he was wearing an undershirt so he could unbutton it.

“If we’re gonna get nasty baby…”

Jared looks back up and sees Jenny twirling the tutu again, then she meets his eyes and quirks an eyebrow. She tosses the skirt into the crowd, and the next thing Jared knows he can’t see because he has a face full of tutu. It falls into his lap and he picks it up blindly.

Did she…?

“I think someone likes you, Jared,” Misha says with his eyebrows up in his hairline. He looks at his friend blankly, right hand still fisted in the bright purple tulle. He swallows and turns back to the stage, where Jenny’s red lips are smirking at him and her body is pulsing to the beat.

So maybe she did throw that at him on purpose.

Maybe.

Fuck.

She’s back to her routine now, twirling and twerking and tossing her hair to the beat. She falls to her knees, drops onto all fours and crawls upstage, lips still moving with the lyrics and eyes scanning the audience coyly. She flattens her body to the stage, props herself up by a hand under her chin and kicks her legs up behind her. She winks as people wolf-whistle and rolls onto her back, swings her legs in the air one after the other like a fan – “Ah, a beautifully executed fan-kick,” Misha says beside him, and Jared doesn't even question for a second how he knows that – before kicking them both out in a wide v and holding them there for a moment.

Seriously, now Jared can’t breathe. She’s like the wet-dream from his darkest fantasies, the ones he never even knew he had, legs all muscled and spread open, head hanging back and wig falling to the floor gracefully, poised on her elbows and forearms. The bright pink eye shadow on her face shimmers with flecks of rainbow glitter under the lights.

She is, without question, the most beautiful person Jared has ever seen.

He is so, so fucked.

Or maybe he just wants to be.

Fuck.

The song just seems pointless now, chanting out “If you’re horny” because Jared is, half the people in this room probably are and it’s the most terrible tease to hear the words repeated over and over knowing that there will be no pony-riding here. He wants that pony. Fuck, he wants to own that pony, ride it 'til his dick fucking falls off. Fuck, this stupid fucking song.

He looks back up and Jenny is stepping off the stage once more. She surveys the crowd with an exaggeratedly speculative glance, hand stroking her chin as her eyes scan the rows of spectators. It seems it was all for show though, because soon her eyes land on Jared and she grins slyly like he was her choice all along. She crooks one finger at him in a come-hither motion, strides towards him when he remains frozen and grabs his arm. She pries the skirt out of his hands, tosses it onto Misha’s lap and hauls him out of his chair.

Jared would say he’s paralyzed but he’s moving, his body is moving somehow without his consent and he’s following Jenny back up the aisle, up the stairs until he’s standing on the fucking stage next to a drag queen in front of at least a hundred wild college kids and he’s going to pass out.

“C’mon, don’t be shy now,” Jenny entreats. She plants a palm on his chest, right over his heart, and trails it downwards as she grinds her body down his. She pops back up and fists her hand in his collar. “Don’t look at them,” she says, and he looks away from the whooping students to face her. Her green eyes are shining with mischief and something else, but Jared doesn't have the presence of mind to figure it out. “Look at me,” she commands, and he does. He can't look away, doesn't ever want to. “Touch me,” is her next order, so Jared brings a hand up to tentatively rest on her shoulder and she nods in satisfaction. “Good. Now more.”

He grips her waist with his other hand, yanks her body to his so their hips line up. Jenny’s tall for a guy, almost as tall as Jared, which puts her at perfect kissing height, he notes abstractly as he stares at her mouth. He pushes his hips against hers, his obvious erection poking into her tights. His fingers make nice shiny dents in the fabric where they’re clutching her hips. She grinds into him to the beat, rhythm so smooth and perfect Jared closes his eyes as his dick hardens to truly dangerous proportions. Too much more of this and he’s going to go off, right here on this stage and fuck, imagine reading about that in the student paper. Horny Pervert Loses His Shit All Over Innocent Drag Queen at University Run Drag Show, Faces Charges for Sexual Harassment. He can see the headline now.

Just as he thinks he can’t last much longer under this torment, Jenny pulls away. He opens his eyes in surprise, but she just looks at him with something inscrutable and dark in her eyes as she turns around. She pushes her ass out invitingly, and okay, fuck, correction: now Jared is going to come in his pants.

“My saddle’s waiting,” the lyrics say, and isn't that just the damnedest timing? Jenny looks back at him with a grin like she agrees, then twerks her hips enticingly. Yeah, like Jared needs enticing.

He settles in behind her, places his hands on her hips again, and delicately brings his groin to her ass. That doesn't seem to do it for her though; she reaches around and grabs his hips, pulls him to her so his cock is pushing right into the soft swell of her ass, and shitfuckingdamn Jared is not going to come in public, he is so not. Fucking hell, this was not on the agenda for tonight.

Jenny is moving along his front now, hands laced through his own and maneuvering them all over her body. She guides his hand up the curve of her breasts, traces her collarbone and neck while she moves the other in circles on her stomach. She tosses her head back to rest on his shoulder and turns her face into his neck so he can feel her long eyelashes blinking against his skin. She’s hidden from the crowd this way, face turned so they can’t see her, and Jared feels a slight moist press of lips against his neck that makes his hips jerk into her.

Oh god.

She rolls against him, harder this time, lips still resting at his pulse point. He feels a flick of something wet, shit, a tongue, and then a sharp bite of teeth before the pressure is lifted and Jenny pulls away from him entirely. She spins around to face the audience, holds her arms out at Jared as if to say ‘Cheer if you like my boytoy!’ and the audience responds accordingly with whistles and shouts of “Take his shirt off!” Jenny grins and laughs as she turns to Jared. She raises an eyebrow questioningly, and Jared’s not really firing on all cylinders right now – he’s pretty sure he’s running on the power of his dick, actually – so he just nods mutely and doesn't really know what’s happening until her fingers are deftly popping open his shirt and she’s close enough to see that her lipstick is slightly smudged. Smudged from, from giving him a fucking hickey on stage, Jesus Christ.

Then there’s a breeze on his skin and he can feel sweat dripping down his chest, but the audience only gets louder and it’s like the sound has amped up from zero to sixty in 0.2 seconds. He sees Misha in the audience literally laughing his head off, and when he looks to Jenny he sees she’s stopped dancing – she’s completely motionless, just staring at him with wide, hungry eyes. That’s it, hunger, that’s what he sees in her gaze as she trails it down his abdomen, then to his tented jeans, and back up to his face.

“Shit,” she mutters in that deep throaty voice, and she brings a hand to his damp chest. She runs it down the center of his pec, false nails scraping his nipple and making him hiss, then traces over his admittedly impressive six-pack as her breath catches. “Boy, you’re some kind of beautiful aren't you?” It’s said quietly, like maybe Jared wasn't supposed to hear it, but he responds anyway.

“Are you kidding me?” he asks hoarsely. “You’re the most gorgeous person in this room right now. Fuck, have you seen yourself?”

She blinks up at him in surprise and swallows, but before she gets a chance to reply she seems to remember that she’s still onstage and her number isn't finished. She visibly shakes off her shock and swishes her hips a few times, dances around him as Jared stands there stupidly like a dork. She finishes off the last few bars by grinding against him again, but not as closely as before. Her ass is at least two inches away from his body so he just holds her hips lightly and rolls his hips awkwardly to the beat, keeping his dick well away from her.

The song finishes on a grinding upbeat, guitars wailing, and she faces the audience to give one last sensual body roll and hair flip. She stomps her heel to the last beat, and then it’s over, and the audience is practically falling out of their chairs with praise and applause. Their calls ring in his ears but he doesn't do much more than just stare at Jenny. She gives a little curtsy, motions over to Jared again like he’s the one who deserves the applause here, and then she’s backing away gracefully.

Jared makes for the stairs at the end of the stage, but Jenny’s hand is on his arm again and she’s tugging him backwards, into the wings offstage instead of back to the audience. He’s not going to question it right now because even if she’s about to punch him in the face for being a sicko and rubbing his dick all over her it’d be worth it just to hear her voice again.

*

Backstage is chaotic. There are people rushing about dressed half man and half woman, wigs falling off and ripped pantyhose and it looks like glitter exploded over everything, but Jenny doesn't stop to give anyone even a glance. She tugs him into what looks like an empty meeting room but has been converted into a Diva Glitter Station, swatches of shiny fabric thrown over tables and piles of rhinestones set out, half-stitched onto bits of clothing. It’s empty aside from that, though, which makes it the perfect place for…whatever’s about to happen.

Jenny closes the door behind them, turns her gaze on Jared and the hunger is back tenfold, heat pouring out of her in waves as she backs him into a wall. “I’m not crazy, am I?” she asks, and Jared feels his chest heave with labored breaths at the sound of that voice, lazy and slow and dipped in honey. “I mean that was your dick stabbing me back there, you don’t have a roll of quarters in your pocket?”

Jared jerks his head to the side. “No, no quarters. I, uh, yeah. You’re just—fuck. You’re the most beautiful person I've ever seen in real life and then you looked at me, and that fucking song—”

That seems to be good enough for Jenny. She pins him to the wall, hands wrapped tightly around his wrists, and then her mouth is on his. It’s aggressive and desperate, but naturally softened by the sheer plushness of Jenny’s lips, and Jared groans and bucks his hips into her. He fights against the hands restraining him but he can’t budge, and it makes him even hotter to think that Jenny’s stronger than him, and god he just wants to see what Jenny-the-guy looks like without all these clothes, wants to see his cock and hold it in his hand and shove it down his throat, wants to swallow him down and drink him in, and shit he must be saying this out loud because Jenny's thrusts have become increasingly more frantic and she pulls away to look at him with blown out eyes.

“Fuck,” she growls. “I physically can’t get it up right now but I swear to god you’re getting me real close.” Jared chokes out a laugh against her lips.

“I’m about three seconds from coming in my pants after what you put me through out there. I nearly lost it on stage,” he admits. Jenny licks into his mouth and he can smell a faint aroma perfume mixed with sweat, and it’s strangely pleasing. But seriously, he wasn't kidding about coming in his pants, because Jenny is picking up the pace again and now he’s so close he can’t even kiss her back, he’s just panting into her mouth as their lips catch and drag against each other. “Oh god, oh god Jenny—”

She releases one of his arms to reach down and palm his cock. “It’s Jensen,” she says as she squeezes along the length, and that’s it, that’s all she wrote. Jared’s coming with a strangled cry of Jensen on his lips and the world goes hazy and bright as his hips stutter and his boxers fill up with wetness.

Jenny—Jensen—is watching him with parted lips, and strokes him through his orgasm over his jeans. Finally Jared whimpers and sags against the wall, and Jensen rushes over to kiss him. “God, I wish you could touch me,” Jensen moans, and Jared can feel his spent dick twitch painfully at the thought.

“I’d like to get you off sometime,” Jared offers. Then his eyes widen in horror as he hears what he said. “No!” He cries. “That’s not what I meant! I mean, yeah, that too, I mean you heard me earlier, but I meant I’d like to take you off. No! Uh, take you out.” He closes his eyes and cringes as his face sets on fire with embarrassment. “I’d like to take you out sometime,” he says meekly one last time.

He opens his eyes when he feels Jensen chuckle against his mouth. He – and Jared has officially changed the pronoun to male in light of learning Jenny’s real name – is grinning at Jared, lips dulled to a faint red– and god knows how much of that lipstick is on Jared now, and how much Misha is going to laugh in his face on a scale of one to I-need-to-find-a-new-roommate – and he looks happily amused. “I’d like that,” he says. “But I also like to know a guy’s name before I let him take me on a date.”

Jared thinks of the past ten minutes and can’t help but laugh. “But not before you give him a lap-dance in public and drag him backstage to get him off?”

Jensen blushes faintly and peeks up at Jared from under those stupid eyelashes. “I guess you’d be the exception to that rule,” he says shyly.

Jared feels his heart literally flutter in his chest at how adorable this guy is being. He’s still in a haze of wow-pretty-person-touched-my-dick which is how he justifies accidentally blurting out the first thing that comes to his mind, which is “Seriously, are those fake eyelashes?”

Jensen looks confused for a moment, then just furrows her brows and laughs bemusedly. “Um, no actually. I just put some mascara on. People have always told me I have really girly eyelashes.”

“And your eyes? Are those contacts?” escapes next.

He raises an eyebrow at Jared. “No, also mine. I have to admit though,” Jensen adds with a smirk, “The boobs are fake.”

That startles a laugh out of Jared and he can feel his dimples busting out as he tosses his head back. Jensen smiles back at him, eyes crinkling at the corners in a really, really cute way. “It’s Jared,” he tells him, still smiling.

“Nice to meet you, Jared,” Jensen says. Just then someone bursts into the room, a bald guy half in a black evening dress with smudged purple eye shadow all over his face. “JENSEN!” the guy screeches, “JENSEN WE NEED YOU, my makeup exploded and the studs fell off Justin’s bra and—” he stops just as suddenly as he started, noticing Jared’s presence and staring. “And who the fuck is this?”

Upon closer inspection, Jared realizes with a start that the bald guy is Miss Michaela sans wig. Huh.

Jensen blushes. “Um, this is Jared,” he says.

Miss Michaela – bald guy – whoever – narrows his eyes at Jared critically then turns to look at Jensen with dawning realization. “This is that cute guy in the third row you were freaking out over, isn't it? You wouldn't shut up about him, you were so fucking nervous! And you brought him back here to have your way with him? You whore, good for you!” The dude is grinning now, looking more unhinged than ever with the added baldness and clown-esque makeup.

Jared wants to set himself on fire a little right now, but as embarrassing as this is for him he thinks it must be worse for Jensen, who is now blushing red enough that Jared can make out faint freckles dotting his nose and cheeks. The effect, combined with the implications of Miss Michaela's words, are all in all extremely endearing, and he can't help smiling a little. “Shut up, Mike,” Jensen mumbles as he glares at his friend.

Miss Michaela – Mike, apparently – gasps in outrage. “You bitch! You’re not supposed to reveal my true identity in front of outsiders!” He huffs. “You’re a terrible drag queen, Jenny.”

“I don’t know,” Jared volunteers as he bites his lip. “I was pretty impressed.”

Jensen looks at him now, blush fading to a rosy pink and a quietly pleased smile on his face. Jared flushes a little in response and smiles back. They make doe eyes at each other for a few moments until Mike busts in with an exasperated, “Ohmygod, seriously? You can make googoo eyes and strip each other naked later, but I need Jensen now. Say goodbye to your boyfriend, Jenny.” Mike exits the room with a dramatic flourish and slams the door behind him.

“Diva,” Jensen mutters darkly under his breath. Jared and Jensen watch each other for a few seconds before Jared grins, and that grin turns into a chuckle and that chuckle into a laugh, and soon Jensen is laughing with him and wiping away tears before they smear his makeup. “Here, I’ll give you my number,” Jensen says, and Jared pulls his phone from his pocket and opens up his contact list. He hands it over and Jensen programs his number in, long fake nails clicking against the screen. He hands it back with a smile.

“Call me, okay?” Jensen says, voice wobbling nervously.

Jared takes a step forward, brushes Jensen’s wig from his cheek and cups his strong jaw. He kisses him gently but with feeling, sealing his promise into the softness of Jensen’s mouth. He licks along the seam of his lips, pulls back and rests their foreheads together. “I will,” he says seriously. Then he grins and adds with a leer, "Besides, you think I'm gonna miss finding out what you're hiding in here?" He cups Jensen's smooth pelvis with his other hand and kisses him again, hard and dirty.

Jensen’s breath hitches slightly as he pulls away. “Right,” he says, voice still uneven but hopefully for other reasons now. “Okay. They need me, so I’ll just. Thanks for coming to the show. Bye Jared.”

Then he’s gone, and it’s not even two minutes later that Jared is fumbling with his phone, searching the J’s of his contact list and tapping on Jensen’s name with shaking fingers. It rings for a long time, and then Jensen answers in a breathy voice, “Hello?”

Jared grins. “Hey. I couldn't wait to call, sorry.”

Jensen laughs delightedly through the phone and Jared doesn't think he's imagining the tinge of relief in it. 

"Meet me after the show?" Jared asks.

“I'd like that. It’ll probably take me at least thirty minutes to get all this crap off my face though, so if you don’t wanna wait it’s fine—”

“Jensen," Jared stops him. "I want to. Just text me when you’re ready. Now go fix Mike’s face.” Jensen laughs again, and the sound sets off a chain of butterflies in Jared's belly. The last thing he hears is someone shouting shrilly in the background (probably Mike) before the line cuts off.

When Jared makes his way back to his seat there's a permanent grin splitting across his face. It’s worth the gross sticky mess in his boxers and the wordless onslaught of Misha’s fifteen-minute long hysterical laughing fit, because when Jared meets Jensen after the show Jensen is still the most beautiful person he's ever seen, in jeans and a grey henley with his hair standing up in awkward tufts and the faintest smudge of liner under his eyes, smiling brighter than the California sun.

**Author's Note:**

> disclaimer: everything I know about drag comes from the little I've seen and read about so I'm sorry if my portrayal is incorrect to you in some way - this is just based off my personal experiences + some overt j2 porny liberties, it's just meant to be a bit of fun :3
> 
> also, the song Jensen's dancing to is "My Pony" by Far and it's kind of awesome so you should listen


End file.
